MY CAT JUST JUMPED ON MY DAD’S STOMACH AND IT MADE HIM FART
how am i supposed to make creative funny text posts when nothing happens in my life at all
you just use a story from sims and pretend it really happened to you
one time i was swimming but the pool ladders disappeared so i couldn’t get out of the pool and i swam for 10 hours then died
"suck my dick"
"nah sorry i have a shrimp allergy"
what do you MEAN it’s inappropriate for gold digger by kanye west to be my wedding song
i want flawless eyebrows and $100,000
i hate this website everyone’s hotter than me wtf
i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice